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The latest

As I write this, a thunderstorm is rumbling through the Burg. Feel bad for all those who came to our annual Art By The River event, but hoping for better weather tomorrow for them. In the meantime, I’m SO grateful to be snug and dry inside my wee housie.

A couple of people asked how I was doing today, so I thought it time for an update. Let me start by saying The Missus is doing MUCH better! The symptoms of the erosive gastritis are easing, and some days trouble me not a bit. Once in a while though, I’ll have a day where everything seems to bother my stomach, and I don’t know why. But mercifully, those kind of days are getting fewer.

I’ve gained back some of the weight I lost, and I’m continuing to wean myself off the Zantac. Although I still take a nightly dose, I’ve reduced my morning dose to every other day. I even accidently went three days in a row without my morning med with little ill effect. So yay me!

My diet is continues to be a little bland, but I’m going to try introducing foods with actual taste soon. :-) I love my restorative yoga and I’m back to a much reduced exercise program of low intensity cardio and weight training. And my sleep, always an issue, is improving. So yay me again!

All through this little odyssey, the Divine Powers That Be have showered me with videos and books about stress management and radical self-care. My dear friend and Yaya sister, Susan, sent me (and all the Yayas) Don Miguel Ruiz’s newest book – The Mastery of Self – and if ever there was a book I needed right now, this is it! How to recognize my prior domestications and attachments, how to avoid being dragged back into them, and how to love others, especially “difficult” people, unconditionally, without violating my own personal truth. At the same time, I somehow I got in with the gang at Hay House – a mega-publishing house in the area of self-help, healing, and spirituality – and I’ve been enjoying free videos and ebook downloads from such notables as Christiane Northrup and Doreen Virtue, and I’ve learned so much! Like how we were meant to live in a near constant state of relaxation; that when circumstances demand a fight or flight stress response, we are supposed to return to relaxation immediately after the threat has passed. But so many of us are conditioned to live our lives stressed out all the time. And when our bodies have had enough, they start to break down, forcing us to take the rest we so badly need. To regain our health, we need the treatments, procedures, and medications our healthcare providers offer us (both Western and alternative), but there’s even more we need to do for ourselves, our inner work, especially regarding our thoughts and emotions. I know now that I’ve been living in a state of hyper-vigilance for years – always waiting for the other shoe to fall, the next thing to go wrong. I also discovered that I don’t know how to express anger well, which keeps me brooding on past hurts. And I’ve found, to my astonishment, that I can think a dozen negative thoughts before even stepping out of the shower in the morning!

Not a record I’m proud of.

But to my great joy, I’ve also learned that my heart is teachable, wide open, and ready to gain wisdom so I might do better for myself and others. So rain down Your guidance, Beloved Divine, pour it into me! Give me eyes to see, and ears to hear, and a ready spirit to learn the lessons that will lead me into the abundant life I was meant to live.

And the thunder boomed, “Amen!”

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4 Comments

  1. Joannie
    Posted August 27, 2016 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

    Amen indeed!

    • Penny-Anne
      Posted August 28, 2016 at 12:18 am | Permalink

      Thanks for stopping by, Joannie! ‘Preciate it! :-)

  2. Valerie Hess
    Posted August 28, 2016 at 2:28 am | Permalink

    Dear friend, maybe this from Fr. Richard Rohr’s meditation today will be useful. I love the “bird on a wire” image; it has been helping me all day. Blessings, Valerie Practice: The Welcoming Prayer I’d like to offer you a form of contemplation—a practice of accepting paradox and holding the tension of contradictions—called The Welcoming Prayer. First, identify a hurt or an offense in your life. Remember the feelings you first experienced with this hurt and feel them the way you first felt them. Notice how this shows up in your body. Paying attention to your body’s sensations keeps you from jumping into the mind and its dualistic games of good-guy/bad-guy, win/lose, either/or. After you can identify the hurt and feel it in your body, welcome it. Stop fighting it. Stop splitting and blaming. Welcome the grief. Welcome the anger. It’s hard to do, but for some reason, when we name it, feel it, and welcome it, transformation can begin. Don’t lose presence to the moment. Any kind of analysis will lead you back into attachment to your ego self. The reason a bird sitting on a hot wire is not electrocuted is quite simply because it does not touch the ground to give the electricity a pathway. Hold the creative tension, but don’t ground it by thinking about it, critiquing it, or analyzing it. When you’re able to welcome your own pain, you will in some way feel the pain of the whole world. This is what it means to be human—and also what it means to be divine. You can hold this immense pain because you too are being held by the very One who went through this process on the Cross. Jesus was holding all the pain of the world, at least symbolically or archetypally; though the world had come to hate him, he refused to hate it back. Now hand all of this pain—yours and the world’s—over to God. Let it go. Ask for the grace of forgiveness for the person who hurt you, for the event that offended you, for the reality of suffering in each life. I can’t promise the pain will leave easily or quickly. To forgive is not to forget. But letting go frees up a great amount of soul-energy that liberates a level of life you didn’t know existed. It leads you to your True Self.

    • Penny-Anne
      Posted August 30, 2016 at 12:09 am | Permalink

      Valerie, this is just wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing it.

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