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The Mister – truly one of a kind

One thing I can say after 23 years of marriage to The Mister – it’s never been boring.

We were watching TV a few evenings ago, when I noticed what appeared to be dried blood under The Mister’s nose.

“Hey Pa,” I said, “your nose is bleeding!”

“Really?” he replied without looking away from the tube.  “Must be dry in here.”

“I’d agree with you,” I said, “except a) it’s been raining for two days; b) the windows have been open all week and c) you’ve never had a spontaneous nosebleed in your life.”


“Could you maybe go in the bathroom and take a look at it?”



He sighed.  “Fine.”  And off he went to check out the man in the mirror.

A few minutes later, I heard laughter coming from the bathroom.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to know.

“It’s not blood,” he said, still chuckling.

“So, what is it?”


My left eye started twitching.

“Chocolate.  Oooookaaaaaayyyyyy…where did it come from?”

He took up his chair in front of the TV again.

“Well Missus, I was indulging in some trail mix earlier today, and there are chocolate chips in the mix, don’tcha know.”


“Yeah well, when I tossed a handful in my mouth, one of them l’il chips musta just scooted right up my nose.”

“Oh my sainted Aunt Cecilia,” I muttered.

“Say what?”

“You mean to tell me you’ve been walking around with a chocolate chip up your nose and never knew it?”

He flashed me a grin and turned back to the screen.  “Weird, huh?”

I buried my face in my hand.

“Yup, that would be one word for it…”

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